Connection
by superlc529
Summary: Sometimes you don't know what you have... until it's gone. What was going on in the real world while Castle was in the AU world? Beckett's POV. Companion fic to "If" - please read that first for this one to make sense. Caskett.
1. Part 1

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Castle… these lovely characters belong to Andrew W. Marlowe and ABC. I'm not that lucky. :P

**Spoilers:** My predecessor story _If_. If you haven't read it yet, I'd suggest you read it first. This story will make a lot more sense. Just look for it on my profile page if you haven't read it yet… ;)

**Summary:** What was going on in the real world while Castle was in the AU world? Beckett's POV. Companion fic to "If" – please read that one first for this one to make sense.

**Tagline:** _Sometimes you don't know what you have… until it's gone._ (Credit to **touchstonehq **(Christy))

**Pairing:** Caskett (of course) and some Esplanie. :)

**A/N:** Soooo, it's been a week today since I posted the epilogue to _If_ and as promised, I'm posting _Connection_ today. Of course, this is only the first half. The second/last half will be posted in a couple days. :) And this is random, but some of my friends have pointed out that every time they hear "Connection" they think of that exchange of conversation between Castle and Beckett from _Poof, You're Dead _where Castle says "Connection" and Beckett says "Conjecture"! :P I hadn't even thought of that when I thought of the title…

After watching the trailer that my friend Christy made (it can be found with the artwork in my profile page), I added a scene and it spilled over to 20 pages. This first half will be a smidge longer than the second (11 pages as opposed to Part 2's 9)… anyway, enough with my rambling, I hope you all enjoy the first half of _Connection_. Please let me know what you think! It'll be fuel for any Castle stories I'll write in the future: one-shots or serial… ;) ;D

Connection

Break Room

"I'm about ready to tell Montgomery to hand this case over to another detective, I can't look at it anymore," Ryan commented.

"Just be patient, Ryan, I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of it soon," I told him to keep his faith, "We can only hit so many dead ends."

"We've all been pretty useless in this case," Esposito was siding with Ryan, "It's like we lost our groove."

"It does seem like that," I started to agree and paused to take a sip from my coffee, "Sometimes, I feel like we'd get more things done if we didn't have Castle following us around."

"What do you mean? Are you saying we'd be better off if he never came into our lives three years ago?," Ryan sounded like he couldn't quite believe what he was hearing.

"Truth be told, there are times I feel that way," I nodded and took another sip of my coffee. Boy, did that warmth feel good. Looking up from my coffee cup, I finished my thought, "Then there are times where I don't think we'd solve some cases without him. He's become a real asset to our team."

"And a hell of a partner, right?," Esposito smirked at me.

"Yes he has," I nodded once again. Ryan and Esposito were smirking at me. I had to save face, "But if you tell him that…."

I left it as an open-ended threat. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ryan and Esposito give each other smirks. Thankfully they left it at that. I put my finished coffee/espresso cup down, "Come on. Let's go back out to Castle."

"Yo, Castle," Esposito made the author look up, "Everything okay? Who was on the phone?"

"You answered my phone?," I asked. I wasn't mad. I was just curious.

"It was just Lanie," Castle sat up a little straighter and cleared his throat, "She wanted to know if we were any further on the case."

"Is everything okay, Castle? You look lost in thought," I echoed Esposito's question.

"I, uh," Castle stood up. It looked like he didn't know how to phrase his thought, "I heard what you said in the break room."

"Oh," I was taken aback. Looking over at Ryan and Esposito, I saw them exchange looks as they started grinning.

"Is it true?," Castle started and licked his lips, pausing for a second, "Do you really feel that way?"

"If I'm being completely honest, Castle," I stepped forward, my arms folded in my usual default pose, "Yes, I really do feel that way."

"Yeah and we do too," Ryan piped in and Esposito shot him a glare.

"Really?," Castle sounded like he couldn't believe it, "Well, if that's the case then I think I'll just head home."

"You need a ride?," I asked. Why was he acting this way? Shouldn't he be gloating at the fact that we truly value him? Why was he so agitated?

"No," Castle grabbed his jacket, "I wouldn't want to be any more trouble. See you."

"Castle?," I called out to him as he made his way to the elevators. I could tell by the tone of his voice he sounded hurt.

"Let him be," Esposito said.

"It's probably just this case," Ryan agreed, "It's making everybody a little nuts."

"Right," I conceded and wheeled my chair up to my desk. I turned my attention to the evidence for our case. The way Castle sounded still ate at me, so after a second, I looked back up toward the elevators and saw the doors close on Castle. He looked like I just trampled on his heart. I shook my head, that couldn't be. This case really was making us all crazy.

* * *

><p>About a half-hour passed and we were still pretty much at square one. I let out a deep sigh and turned to Esposito and Ryan. They were once again looking through all our evidence and looked just as tired as me, "Do you guys wanna call it a night?"<p>

"Absolutely," Esposito replied.

"You don't have to ask me twice," Ryan agreed. He closed the folder and grabbed his jacket. I got up and put my computer to sleep. Folding my jacket over my arm, I walked to the elevators with my other partners. My mind was still on a particular partner. The way he was acting was still niggling at me, "Do you guys really think Castle's okay? He was acting strangely."

"I told you," Ryan repeated, "It's probably just this case… hey, do you guys want a ride? Save you the trouble of hailing a cab?"

"Thanks, bro," Esposito smiled and I nodded. That was sweet of him.

* * *

><p>We all fell in comfortable silence as we headed down the road. Suddenly, we all whipped our heads in the direction of a truck blaring its horn. Ryan headed in the direction of the noise as he voiced all our thoughts, "What the hell was that?"<p>

As we got closer, we saw a figure of a man lying on the ground, his back to us. The truck was still in sight. Immediately, I took action, "Ryan, go after that truck, I'm going to go help that pedestrian."

"On it," Ryan nodded. I leapt out of the car and not a second after I shut the door, Ryan and Esposito sped off after the truck, siren blaring.

I ran to the man on the ground already dialing 911. Miraculously I was able to give the location of the hit-and-run and get confirmation that an ambulance was on its way all before I reached the poor victim losing a battle with a truck. The street was pretty dark except for a street lamp, I couldn't really make anything out. He was out of the light. I knelt down, "Sir? Can you hear me?"

There wasn't any response. I bit my lip and crawled around him to be face-to-face with the man. As gently as I could, I maneuvered him so he would face the light. I wish I hadn't… my heart stopped and I felt sick. All I could manage was a whisper, "Castle."

I couldn't breathe. It was Castle. It was Castle lying on the ground. Castle who might be on the verge of death. He wasn't moving. He wasn't moving. He wasn't moving. That was all I could think at the moment. My heart was in my mouth as I reached out and felt for a pulse. There was one. I closed my eyes in relief. It was weak, but still there. My eyes started to water and I gently cupped the side of his face, some of his blood coming from his cheek and forehead got on my hand. I didn't care, "Castle? Castle, stay with me."

I wasn't sure if I was understandable. My plea to Castle was barely audible to myself. My face was already drenched from my tears. I brushed his bangs out of the blood caked on it. I could hear a siren in the distance. The ambulance was on its way. In an instant, the ambulance arrived and I watched helplessly as the EMTs moved quickly and swiftly to get Castle the medical attention he needed. They cut off his jacket and opened his shirt – more blood.

They started asking me questions and I replied with one word answers. It all went by in a blur as I climbed into the back of the ambulance. My eyes were glued to Castle's bloody face, an oxygen mask covering his nose and mouth. I was still in shock, all I could think was: _I can't lose him._

* * *

><p>Hospital<p>

They rushed Castle to surgery. He had some internal bleeding and two broken ribs. And those gashes on his head definitely were going to need stitches. I already called Ryan and Esposito to let them know what happened, who in turn called Lanie and Montgomery. Ryan and Esposito told me they got the son of a bitch who hit Castle then kept driving. They told me there was more to it, but they'd tell me when they got to the hospital.

I knew what I had to do next – call Alexis and Martha. I flipped my cell in my hands, my bloody hands – Castle's blood. I was trying to prolong the inevitable. They needed to know. Gathering all my courage, I hit #4 on my speed-dial: Alexis.

"_Hello?," came Alexis' sleepy greeting._ She was sleeping – great.

"Alexis?," I started. The composure of my voice surprised me.

"_Detective Beckett?," Alexis asked._ I could tell she was wide awake now. I could practically see the worried look on Castle's daughter's face, _"Is there something wrong?"_

That was the biggest understatement of the night, "Your dad's been in an accident…"

"_Oh, my God! Is he okay? What happened? Did he get shot?," Alexis started firing off questions quicker than I could answer._ I heard her running out of the room, probably heading to her grandmother's room.

"He wasn't shot," I assured her. I heard her sigh in relief. I let out a breath and told her, "He was hit by a truck in a hit-and-run after he left the precinct."

"_How bad is it?," Alexis asked._

"He's in surgery right now," I said and told her what I overheard in the ambulance, "There was some internal bleeding and he broke two ribs. Remarkably though, those were his only broken bones, but he will need stitches."

"_That's my Richard for you," I heard Martha in the background. _I must've been put on speakerphone. I could hear a small laugh come from Alexis. It was just like them to try to put levity in a serious situation – just like Castle. My musing was broken by Alexis getting back to the matter at hand, _"We're on our way to the hospital, Detective. Will you keep us posted if something happens while we're on our way?"_

"Of course," I promised. We said our goodbyes and we hung up. I looked down at my hands, at Castle's dry blood. I had to wash it off. I slowly made my way to a restroom and began scrubbing at my hands. The red ran down the drain. My hands were clean, but I could still see his blood on them. I don't think I'll ever not see it. Looking up, I saw my reflection – I looked as if I aged five years. I whispered to my reflection, "Castle, you have to be okay."

I needed somebody to talk some sense into me, someone to tell me it would all be okay, that I wouldn't lose him – somebody who wasn't related to him.

Taking out my phone, I dialed the number I knew by heart. _There were a couple rings, but soon enough, they answered the phone, "Katie?"_

"Hi, Dad," I greeted.

"_What's wrong, sweetheart?," he asked._ He must've been able to tell something was wrong just by the tone of my voice in those two words.

"Cast-Castle's been in an accident," I stuttered.

"_Sweetheart," he consoled me, "What happened? Are you okay?"_

"I'm fine," I assured him, "It didn't happen on a case or anything. He was hit by a truck when he left the precinct… and now he's in the hospital in surgery and I don't know what's gonna happen to him."

"_He's going to be all right, sweetheart," he replied, "He's a strong man."_

"I know," I sniffed. I cradled my phone, taking a deep breath and voiced what I feared, "Dad, I can't lose him."

I could practically see my dad's comforting gaze at the other end of the line, _"Your mother always said life never delivers anything that we can't handle… he'll get through this and so will you," he replied, once again, giving me my mom's advice. That always seemed to make me feel better no matter what the circumstance._

"Thanks, Dad," I let out a small smile.

"_Do you need me to come down to the hospital?," he asked, sensing something._

"No," I shook my head, "I just needed to hear your voice. You always know what to say to me when I need it."

"_Okay, Katie," He replied, his voice still gentle, "Call me again if you need me."_

"I will," I nodded, "Thank you." We said our goodbyes and we both hung up. After splashing some cold water on my face, I composed myself once more and headed back to the waiting room. Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, and Montgomery had arrived.

Lanie noticed me first, "How you doing, honey?"

"Okay I guess," I shrugged. She got up and wrapped me in a hug, "He's going to be just fine, Kate. You know that. He's Castle."

I nodded into her shoulder, fighting back tears. I thought I was all cried out.

"Kate?," Martha called out for me. I took myself out of Lanie's hug and found myself in Alexis' arms.

"Is there any more news?," Alexis asked, muffled. She was asking into my chest, but I still heard her, "No, he's still in surgery."

"What exactly happened?," Martha asked after giving me a hug. We all sat down. I found myself in between Alexis and Martha. Everyone from the precinct was sitting across from us.

"Castle left the precinct before us," Ryan saved me from having to speak. I gave him a look of gratitude and he just nodded as he continued, "We left about a half-hour after him, he was probably just walking as far as he could before finding a cab… anyway, as we were driving we heard a truck blaring its horn."

"We went to investigate it and saw a man lying on the ground," Esposito continued, "We didn't know it was Castle at first. Ryan and I went after the driver as Beckett helped your dad."

"Did you get the driver?," Alexis asked, her voice a mixture of concern for her dad and anger at the man who hit him.

"We did," Ryan nodded and then turned to me, "And there's even more news on that."

"What?," I asked. What more could he have possibly done?

"The truck driver was fleeing town," Esposito said, "His name is John Buns and he confessed to killing our victim Ron Carlton."

"You're kidding me," Lanie voiced my thoughts.

"You mean to tell me that the son of a bitch who killed Carlton hit Castle?," Montgomery couldn't believe it either.

"Yeah, when we pulled him over, he started to confess to everything," Ryan explained, "He's in holding down at the precinct right now."

"Good," Alexis' response was hardened as she grasped my hand and Martha grabbed my other one. We all fell into a comfortable silence as a doctor approached us.

"Family of Richard Castle?," the doctor asked for all of us. Every single one of us stood up. The doctor seemed a little surprised at all of us suddenly standing, but regained his composure quickly, "You all are the family?"

"Yes," Alexis stated and squeezed my hand tighter, "What's the status on my dad?"

"He's better," the doctor replied truthfully, "Everything went pretty smoothly in surgery, there was a brief little scare, but he recovered quickly. We fixed up any and all internal bleeding. We stitched up his gashes and set his broken ribs… but…"

My heart stopped at the doctor's pause. A million thoughts ran through my mind. Was there more damage? Was he paralyzed? Was he in a coma? Would he ever be the same Castle I came to lo-… know again?

"But what?," Martha prodded.

"But we had to put him in a semi-conscious state to give his body a chance to heal on its own," the doctor continued.

"How long will he be out?," Ryan asked.

"That all depends on him," the doctor replied truthfully, "Hours, days, weeks… it's all on him now. When he does wake up, he may be a little out of it."

"Can we see him?," I asked, barely recognizing my own voice.

"He's in room 810. Only a few at a time for the first couple of hours, please," the doctor nodded and started to walk away. He put his hand up, most likely remembering something and turned back to us, "Oh, because he's in a semi-conscious state, he should be able to hear you. Talking to him could be beneficial."

"Thank you, doctor," Martha thanked him for all of us.

We all looked at each other, silently asking the same question: Who would go in first? Luckily, my friends came to the rescue and answered. Ryan spoke up, "I think I should head down to the precinct and get all the paperwork done for our case and Castle's hit-and-run."

"I'll help," Esposito nodded.

"And I'll make sure we don't get a media circus coming at us," Montgomery said, "Right now, I'm sure the fact that Castle is hospitalized isn't public knowledge and I'm going to make sure it stays that way."

"Thank you," Alexis smiled at the captain. He gave her one in return and followed Ryan and Esposito out.

"Alexis," Martha started, grabbing her granddaughter's attention, "Why don't you and Kate go in first?"

"All right," Alexis nodded, our hands still clasped together. Silently, we made our way to Castle's room.

* * *

><p>Castle's Room<p>

As we entered the room, we could hear the beeps of the machine reading his heartbeats. Never in my life had I heard such a beautiful sound. His face and hair was clean of any of his blood from earlier, stitches closed his gashes, and he had a breathing tube in his nose. He looked like he was just sleeping – maybe even dreaming.

"He looks pale," Alexis observed.

"Yeah," I agreed. Alexis walked up to his bedside and grabbed his hand, "Dad? Daddy, can you hear me?"

She grabbed his hand, his hand with the IV in it, and gave it a small squeeze, "Dad, if you can hear me, can you squeeze my hand?"

I watched his hand just as intensely as Alexis. No sign of movement. My heart broke at the sight as Alexis' eyes started to well up with tears. We stood there in silence for a few moments, Alexis at his side and me at the foot of his bed.

"How's he doing?," Martha came in with Lanie. I looked confused at their entrance. The doctor said only a few at a time. Lanie must've read my expression because she answered it, "I told the doctor that I was a doctor and he gave us permission to come in too."

I nodded and let out a sigh as she put her hand on my shoulder and I started hugging my arms, looking at Castle in the bed.

"He looks like he's dreaming," Alexis commented. It was true, we could even see his eyeballs moving below his lids – he looked to be in REM.

"Come on, kiddo, let's get something to eat and we can come back later," Martha said, the beginning of her sentence coming out in a small choke. I could tell she was holding back tears as well. I watched them leave, leaving Lanie and I alone in the room with him.

"I've never seen Castle so still," I commented, hugging myself tighter. Lanie gave me a sympathetic smile and picked up his chart. I furrowed my eyebrows, "You allowed to do that?"

"What? I'm a doctor, aren't I?," Lanie smirked at me and turned her attention to Castle's chart. I smiled as she read through it, "He's stable… that's a good thing. How'd he manage to get hit by a truck and come out of it with just a couple broken ribs, some internal bleeding, and some cuts and bruises?"

"He's Castle," I shrugged, emitting a small smile and Lanie reciprocated it, putting his chart back on the foot of his bed. Lanie patted my shoulder and told me she was going to get something to eat. I told her I didn't need anything yet and she left me alone in the room. Continuing to stare at him, I walked to his bedside and sat down in the chair next to him. I finished my thought to Lanie's rhetorical question, whispering, "He's the extraordinary one."

I sat there for a few moments, the only sound audible was the beeps of Castle's heart monitor, still such a beautiful sound. I looked down at his hand and put my hand into it, clasping his – such a perfect fit. A few minutes passed by, I just watched Castle. Then came a smirk. He must really be dreaming something. I put my other hand on the one I already held – warmth emanated from it. Tears once again started to well up in my eyes, I really wasn't cried-out yet. Gathering some courage, I decided to follow the doctor's suggestion and spoke to him, my voice cracking a little, "Castle, you've got to come back to me."

At that, I saw him furrow his brows. Did he hear me? Was he waking up? That hope was dashed when I saw his facial expression go back to neutral. So much for that… but I continued to sit there, my hand in his, at his side.

* * *

><p>More hours passed, the sun was ready to rise, and after some persuasion methods I learned from Castle, I was able to stay in Castle's room way past visiting hours. The nurse that allowed me to stay, Christy Schatzie came in, "How's he doing, Detective?"<p>

"Same," I sighed, "Though his lips are starting to look a little chapped."

"Put some ice chips on his lips every so often, they should soften them up," Christy told me, "You know, honey, I know you said you want to stay in here, but you should really get some rest."

"I'm not tired," I replied, rubbing my eyes, contradicting myself.

"Or get something to eat?," Christy tried.

"Not hungry," I said again and looked up at her, "Thank you for letting me stay in here."

"No problem, hon," Christy replied and gave me a look I couldn't quite decipher as she looked back and forth at me and Castle. As she left the room after checking his monitor and morphine bag – it looked half empty to me, but what did I know; there could've been enough in there to last a long while, Alexis and Martha came into the room.

"Still no change?," Alexis sat on the arm of my chair. I still held his hand.

"No," I shook my head. Alexis leaned over me and gave her dad a kiss on the cheek. Martha came up behind her, "Don't worry, Alexis, you'll see. He'll get through this and he'll be back to his normal self."

Alexis nodded, a small smile appearing on her features. She put her hand on top of mine in her father's and said, "You can get through this, Dad. I know you can. You're strong."

A small smile appeared on Castle's lips. Alexis looked hopeful, taking her hand off mine, "Did he hear me?"

"I think he did," Martha nodded and I smiled with a nod too. Martha looked to me, "Kate, you need to eat something."

"I'm fine, Martha," I repeated.

"No you're not," Martha saw right through me, "Come on, you need to get out of this room. If you don't eat, at least get some fresh air."

I took one last look at Castle and nodded, reluctantly letting go of Castle's hand – the air feeling cold to my warm hand.

"I'll stay with him," Alexis said as I followed Martha out of his room.

"How did you manage to stay with him all night past visiting hours?," Martha asked as we started walking down the hallway.

"I used some persuasion tactics Castle taught me," I replied. I saw a flash of pride cross Martha's features. She wrapped her arm around me as we continued to walk. It wasn't long before we reached the hospital's entrance and stepped outside for a moment. I took a deep breath of the fresh air.

"Now, doesn't that feel better?," Martha asked, her arm still around me.

"Yeah," I admitted. I paused for a moment before turning to the older woman, "I still can't believe Castle is up in that room."

Martha tilted her head as she let me continue, "I've always been worried that Castle would get hurt shadowing me… not that he'd tell you, but there have been some close calls."

"I know," Martha nodded, giving me a look of wisdom.

I continued once again, "Never did I think he'd get hurt, not by shadowing me, but by just… a-a random wayward event."

"Honey," Martha started, "This is New York, crazy things like this happen every day and they're all out of our control. My son is _lucky_ to have you in his life."

"And I'm lucky to have him in mine," I grinned. Martha once again gave me a look I couldn't quite interpret.

"Castle doing any better today?," Ryan came jogging up to us. I could see Esposito and Lanie slowly walking up to us too.

"He's still pretty much the same," I answered, "Though he has been giving us different facial expressions… either he's hearing us or it's from whatever he's dreaming."

"He really dreaming?," Esposito asked.

"He's not really in a coma," Lanie answered, "He's in a semi-conscious state which means he can still hear us. It's like he's half here and half somewhere else."

"Can we see him now?," Ryan asked.

"Yeah, I'd say it's about time for our shift," Esposito said before I could even get a chance to answer. We all headed back into the hospital.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Concluded in Part 2<strong>

Well… that was Part 1! What did y'all think? Is it living up to expectations so far? This is my second attempt at writing _anything_ in first person. My first attempt was with Clark Kent from Smallville and it was only 4 pages, so this 20-paged first person story was a bit of a challenge. Please tell me what you think! The second part will be posted in a couple of days – that way it'll give you guys a chance to let everything settle and have it brew. ;)

Thank you to those of you who are simply just reading this story. You mean a lot to me too. :D

Clois and Caskett Forever! :)


	2. Part 2

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Castle… keep looking… and if you find Andrew Marlowe, tell him he's a genius. :)

****A/N:**** Okay… I promised I would be posting the rest of this story in a few days and that would be today. I hope you all enjoy it. It's my 21st birthday tomorrow and seeing all of your reviews will be a great birthday present. I even got a Castle cake (chocolate) – and it looks amazing. ;D Anyway, you don't wanna hear about that. Without any further hesitation, here is the rest of _Connection_. I hope you enjoy it and tell me what you think! 8-)

_Previously in **Connection**..._

_"How did you manage to stay with him all night past visiting hours?," Martha asked as we started walking down the hallway._

_"I used some persuasion tactics Castle taught me," I replied. I saw a flash of pride cross Martha's features. She wrapped her arm around me as we continued to walk. It wasn't long_  
><em>before we reached the hospital's entrance and stepped outside for a moment. I took a deep breath of the fresh air.<em>

_"Now, doesn't that feel better?," Martha asked, her arm still around me._

_"Yeah," I admitted. I paused for a moment before turning to the older woman, "I still can't believe Castle is up in that room."_

_Martha tilted her head as she let me continue, "I've always been worried that Castle would get hurt shadowing me… not that he'd tell you, but there have been some close calls."_

_"I know," Martha nodded, giving me a look of wisdom._

_I continued once again, "Never did I think he'd get hurt, not by shadowing me, but by just… a-a random wayward event."_

_"Honey," Martha started, "This is New York, crazy things like this happen every day and they're all out of our control. My son is **lucky **to have you in his life."_

_"And I'm lucky to have him in mine," I grinned. Martha once again gave me a look I couldn't quite interpret._

_"Castle doing any better today?," Ryan came jogging up to us. I could see Esposito and Lanie slowly walking up to us too._

_"He's still pretty much the same," I answered, "Though he has been giving us different facial expressions… either he's hearing us or it's from whatever he's dreaming."_

_"He really dreaming?," Esposito asked._

_"He's not really in a coma," Lanie answered, "He's in a semi-conscious state which means he can still hear us. It's like he's half here and half somewhere else."_

_"Can we see him now?," Ryan asked._

_"Yeah, I'd say it's about time for our shift," Esposito said before I could even get a chance to answer. We all headed back into the hospital._

* * *

><p>Now the conclusion of <em>Connection<em>...

Another day passed and I still hadn't left the hospital. Ryan, Esposito, Lanie, and even Montgomery who stopped in for a few moments spent some time with Castle while Alexis, Martha, and I hung out in the waiting room. We would alternate shifts every couple of hours. Alexis fell asleep in my lap and her feet were in her grandmother's lap. She was stretched out between the two of us.

"Forty-two hours and counting," I sighed, resting my hand on Alexis' shoulder.

"Next shift," Ryan said, coming up to us. I looked up at him expectantly, "Any changes for you?"

"No," Ryan shook his head, "We did see a few smiles and smirks, but other than that, nothing."

"He's definitely Castle," Lanie commented.

"Hey, changing the subject for a second," I started, "Have you finished the paperwork up yet on Buns?"

"Not yet," Esposito shook his head and Ryan continued, "Yeah, we're uh… taking our time with it."

I knew what they were getting at and I smiled back at them. They were holding Buns out of spite and I couldn't agree with them more.

* * *

><p>Castle's Room<p>

We assumed our usual positions in Castle's room. I sat at Castle's bedside on his right and Alexis on his left. Once again, I took Castle's hand in mine, again, such a perfect fit. Martha took a seat next to Alexis. I let out yet another sigh, running my hand through my hair. A small gurgle was heard above the beeps. Was that my stomach?

"Do you want me to get you something to eat? Drink?," Alexis offered. She must've heard my stomach. Hell, Castle probably did.

"I'm good right now, thanks, Alexis," I shook my head and leaned forward in my seat, my elbows now resting on Castle's bed.

"You really should eat something," Martha agreed with her granddaughter, "You look famished."

"Yeah, are you sure?," Alexis asked, "I'm sure you've eaten less than us since… well, you know."

"I'm fine right now, Alexis," I assured her, but I don't think they believed me, "You get something to eat first for you and Martha and I'll eat later, I swear."

"Okay," Alexis stood up. She walked into the bathroom in the room and came back out with a cup of water, "But at least drink this… make me feel better."

I took the cup from Alexis and downed it in a few seconds. That did feel good. Did I even have a drink of water since his accident? Maybe I should eat a little something. I let go of Castle's hand and stood up, "Maybe I should at least get something from a vending machine."

"I'll come with you," Alexis smiled and grabbed my hand.

* * *

><p>Alexis and I were gone for twenty minutes as I ate my bag of pretzels from the nearest vending machine.<p>

"You feel better now, Detective?," Alexis asked me as I polished off the bag.

"Isn't it about time you called me Kate, Alexis?," I asked. She nodded. I gestured at her with my last pretzel, "Give it a try."

"You feel better now, Kate?," Alexis asked, smiling at the use of my first name.

"Yeah," I admitted and reciprocated the smile, "Do you think we should head back to your Dad's room?"

"Yeah," Alexis nodded. When we got back to the room, Lanie, Ryan, Esposito, and Montgomery had joined Martha.

"Full house," I commented when I saw everybody in the room.

"He got some of his color back," Lanie stated, gesturing to Castle. He did, I was gone for twenty minutes and some color returned to his cheeks. He was starting to look like his normal self. All he needed to do was open those eyes and let us see those baby blues.

Castle let out a groan and all of our heads whipped in his direction. Was he waking up? He lifted his knee up and started groaning, thrashing around side-to-side. We all stood in stunned silence. I took initiative, "Alexis, go get Nurse Schatzie."

Alexis ran out of the room. Castle kept thrashing around. I ran to his side and grabbed his hand yet again, "Castle… you're going to be fine."

"What happened?," Nurse Christy came running into the room.

"I don't know, we were all just standing here and suddenly Castle let out a groan and began thrashing around," I answered.

"Damn it, his morphine bag is running on empty," Christy cursed herself, "I knew I should've replaced it last night. I just need to replace it."

"See? You're gonna be just fine, Castle," I said as Christy went to work.

"Everybody needs to get out of the room for a moment, please!," Christy ordered and we all filtered out of the room. I looked back at Castle starting to calm down, still groaning a little, as she replaced the morphine bag. I let out another plea for a response, "Castle?"

Christy closed the door on us as she went back to work. We all exchanged glances. I repeated, assuring everyone and myself, "He's going to be fine."

A couple minutes later, Christy opened the door, "He's okay now. That little episode did a little number on him. I had to redress some of the gauze on the stitches from his surgery, but he's okay now."

"Thank you, Christy," I smiled and started to head back into the room, but she lifted her hand, "Only a few of you in there at a time now until he wakes up… he's still in a little bit of pain before the morphine drip will start to work again."

"You three head in," Lanie said, looking at me, Alexis, and Martha, "We'll switch shifts in a little while."

Ryan, Lanie, Montgomery, and Esposito went back to the waiting room and we went back in Castle's room. The nurse had pushed the chairs back against the wall, but left the one next to Castle's right side in the same spot.

"I think I'm gonna take another nap," Alexis said and sat down in the chair against the wall, followed by her grandmother.

"Yeah, me too," I replied, realizing how tired I truly was… did I even sleep since the accident? I couldn't remember. Alexis curled up and laid on her grandmother's shoulder, both of them closing their eyes. I took my seat next to Castle and took his hand once again, giving it a small squeeze. My eyelids were getting heavier and heavier, I put my head down on our hands and felt myself falling asleep.

* * *

><p>I was on the edge of half-asleep and half-awake. I thought I heard Castle say my name, but I chalked it up to hearing things. Then, I felt Castle's hand flex in mine and I heard my name again – was I hearing things?<p>

"Castle?," I mumbled. I sat up and rapidly blinked the sleep out of my eyes. Castle's baby blues were smiling at me, a smile crawled on my lips, "Castle, you're awake."

"How long was I out?," Castle blinked and reached up to take out the breathing tube in his nose. I tentatively stopped him, "You need that… you've been out for almost forty-eight hours. You had us all pretty worried."

"That's what I do best, right?," Castle tried a failed attempt at adding levity to the situation. He switched his gaze to his mother and daughter, "Have they been here long?"

"Almost as long as me," I said, "Should I wake them?"

"Yeah," Castle nodded, "Though could you hand me that cup of water first? My throat's a little dry."

"Our favorite nurse here Christy Schatzie said that it's nothing but ice chips for you, Rick," I said. I took an ice chip out and placed it in his mouth. I smiled at him as he began to suck on the small ice chip. I hoped I'd see that smile again.

I got up and slowly shook Alexis awake which in turn woke her grandmother, "Alexis? Your dad's awake."

"Dad?," Alexis said, wiping the sleep out of her eyes.

"Right here, sweetheart," Castle said. From hearing the sound of her father's voice, she shot out of her chair to be by her father's side, "Daddy, you're awake."

"I am," Castle replied, his voice soft, "Sorry if I scared you."

"I knew you were strong enough to pull through," Alexis smiled.

"Castle," Lanie entered the room followed by Ryan, Esposito, and Montgomery. They must've been on their way back for their 'shift' I could see everybody's joy at seeing Castle being awake. Lanie smiled, "Good to see you back amongst the living."

"Thanks," Castle smiled. The room was quiet for a few minutes. We all didn't know what to say until Castle cut the silence, "Kate? Have you eaten at all?"

"Not that much," I shook my head, thinking of the bag of pretzels.

"That's it, you've got to eat something," Castle stated, "I can't have my favorite detective fainting on me."

"I'll get her something," Montgomery volunteered.

"That's okay, sir, I'm fine," I insisted.

"Nonsense, Beckett," Montgomery wouldn't take it, "I know for a fact you've been here longer than any of us and in that time, you barely have eaten anything. I'm getting you something from the cafeteria and you're going to eat it… and that's an order."

"Yes, sir," I nodded as Montgomery left the room to get me something to eat.

"Ryan?," Castle turned to him, "How you doing?"

"Fine," Ryan nodded, "How are you doing?"

"Just dan-dy," Castle smiled, his reply was a little slurred, "Am I still your co-best man at… your wedding to Jenny?"

"Of course, Castle," Ryan smiled, "With Esposito."

"Awesome," Castle said. He started to sound a little loopy and looked to Esposito and Lanie, "Is your wedding next?"

"I don't think so, bro," Esposito shook his head, his arm around Lanie. She gave him a look, but let it slide under the circumstances.

"Sounds like the morphine is starting to work again," Alexis commented.

"Morphine?," Castle asked, wide-eyed, "Is that what that feeling is?"

"Maybe we should get somebody to lower it," I recommended.

"Good idea," Alexis said with a half-laugh at the face Castle was making. She disappeared for a second and brought in Nurse Christy Schatzie.

"Glad to see you finally awake, Mr. Castle," Christy said as she came in and adjusted his bag of morphine drip by his bedside table, leaning over me. I leaned forward on Castle so she could get an easier reach. Christy smiled, "There, is that better?"

"Mmm, yeah," Castle smiled, wrapping his arm around my head. I heard everybody laughing at the position he forced me into – I was practically lying in his lap. He took his arm off of my head and I sat back up and fixed my hair.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news," Christy started, "But now that you're awake, you actually need some more rest. That episode you had before when the last morphine bag was running on empty did a real number on you and your broken ribs."

"Is that what happened?," Castle asked, feeling his side and winced. He was more coherent and less loopy now.

"Yes, now your daughter and mother can stay," Christy said, "Family should be the only ones in here right now."

"Then they all should stay," Castle stated, "They're all my family."

"All right," Christy smiled, looking at all of us individually and back to Castle, "Ten more minutes, but then you should rest. You've had enough excitement for the day."

Christy left the room and Castle turned back to me, "So… Broken ribs, huh?"

"Yeah," I nodded and Ryan continued, "Two of them actually."

"Wow," Castle said, "They get the whole bullet out?"

"Bullet?," I furrowed my brows and looked to everyone else, they mirrored my expression, "What bullet?"

"The bullet I was shot with," Castle said, "I mean, it'd be kinda cool to carry it around with me, but I think that would lead to some medical complications in the future. Am I right, Lanie?"

"Castle," Lanie started slowly, "You weren't shot."

Now Castle looked confused, "Yeah I was, I don't think I could forget that. How else would I have broken ribs?"

"From the truck," I replied.

"Truck?," Castle asked and sat up a little straighter, "What are you talking about?"

"After you left the precinct the other night," Esposito started an explanation, "You were hit by a truck and broke some ribs in the process, as well as some pretty bad cuts and bruises."

Esposito gestured to his face. Castle reached up and felt the stitches on his forehead and one on his cheek. He looked down at his arms and must've seen his apparent bruises and scratches because his eyes widened. Castle looked up at me, a little frightened, "A truck? I don't remember getting hit by a truck. Who hit me?"

"We've got him in custody," I said, "And in an odd turn of events, the man who hit you, John Buns, was also the man who killed our victim. He was fleeing town and ran into you – literally."

"Our victim," Castle started slowly and licked his lips. His brain must've not been firing on all cylinders quite yet, "Our victim Anna Snow?"

"No, our victim Ron Carlton," I replied, "The case we were working on when you left."

Castle looked lost in thought for a minute and we all let him process it. Castle took a deep breath, "Okay, I'm going to ask you something and I'd appreciate it if you replied truthfully."

"Of course," I nodded, grasping his warm hand once again.

"Have I been shadowing you for the last three years?," Castle asked with all seriousness in his eyes.

"Castle," I started, confused. Was there something else wrong with him? Below the surface? Castle squeezed my hand a little tighter and said, "Please, just answer the question."

"Yes," I said, after looking into his pleading eyes, "You've been shadowing me for three years. You're my partner, Castle."

"I'm back," Castle laid his head back on his pillow in apparent relief.

"Richard, what are you talking about?," Martha asked.

"I don't know what happened," Castle shook his head, "It must've been all a dream."

"What dream?," Ryan asked.

"But I pinched my hand and I didn't wake up," Castle was talking to himself now and looked down at his hand, "Or maybe it was just the small prick of pain when they put the IV in."

"Castle," I prompted, trying to get his attention, but he continued to talk to himself, "And that would also explain the out of context conversations and other things I heard."

"Castle," I said a little louder, finally grabbing his attention, "What dream are you talking about? Did you have a nightmare?"

"I'll say it was," Castle replied, "You all didn't know who I was."

"We didn't even know you?," Alexis asked, stepping up, placing her hand on her chest.

"No, no, sweetheart," Castle shook his head and gestured to us from the precinct, "I'm talking about them. None of you guys knew who I was."

"How do you mean?," Esposito asked.

"We had never met," Castle explained, "Those murders, the Alyson Tisdale case, none of that happened."

"Wow," Ryan's eyebrows went up, "That must've been weird."

"Yeah, and I was hearing some out of context stuff throughout it," Castle said, "It must've been you guys talking to me. Alexis, you said you told me I was strong and that I'd get through this?"

"Yeah," Alexis smiled. I could tell she was glad he heard her. Castle turned to Martha, "And you were trying to get Beckett to eat?"

"Yes," Martha nodded.

Castle grabbed my hand once again, "And you told me to come back to you."

I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks as I started to blush. Instead of giving him a verbal answer, I just nodded and squeezed his hand a little tighter once again.

"Well, that makes a lot more sense," Castle said, "It really was all a dream, I'm glad it's over."

"Me too," I said, "They weren't sure how long it would take you to wake up. After a few hours of surgery to fix any internal bleeding, they had to put you in a semi-conscious state for you to get the rest you needed to heal on your own."

"They told us to talk to you," Alexis said, "They said you'd be able to hear us."

"I did," Castle smiled.

A knock came from the door. It was Nurse Christy, "Sorry, guys, the ten minutes are up."

"Just two more minutes, Christy?," Castle pleaded, putting on his best puppy-dog-eyed look. Who could resist that look?

"Fine," Christy said, "but just one person."

"We'll meet you guys out there," Ryan said and pointed with his thumb to the door, "Get some rest, bro."

Esposito and Lanie echoed Ryan's wish. Lanie gave Castle a kiss on the cheek and followed her boyfriend and Ryan out the door.

"You go ahead and stay, Kate," Alexis said, "We've got plenty of time to see him."

"Thank you," I smiled yet again at Martha and Alexis. Alexis gave her father another kiss on his cheek as Martha simply squeezed his shoulder. After a moment, they left the room. I continued to smile at them. Castle and I sat in comfortable silence for a moment until I couldn't take it anymore, my eyes started to water – finally, the last of my tears?

"Oh, Kate," Castle said and gently rubbed my tears away with his thumb, "Don't cry, you're going to make me cry."

"I'm sorry," I sniffed, "I really thought we… I had lost you."

"I'm never gonna go away no matter what you or anybody else does," Castle smiled, "You're stuck with me. You can't get rid of me that easily."

"Good to know," I smiled. I felt my tears start to subside. I dabbed at my eyes with my knuckle and gave Castle a small smile, "I guess even when you're semi-conscious your imagination still runs wild, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess it does," Castle smirked, "I don't ever want to see that world ever again. I'm glad I came into your life. That moment you came up to me at my book party changed my life forever and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world."

"I never want to see what my life would be like without you in it," I confessed and shook my head. Once again, I took Castle's hand. It had become a habit over the past two days.

"Have you been holding my hand this whole time?," Castle asked, looking down at our intertwined hands.

"Yeah," I said as I started to let go, "Is it bothering your IV? I'll stop."

"No," Castle grabbed my hand once more, "I like it… I think it was the connection that kept me in this reality."

"You dreamed up a whole case with a victim and everything?," I shook my head in disbelief and amusement, "You truly are something else, Rick."

"Yes I am," Castle smiled. He brought my hand up to his mouth and gave it a chaste kiss, "Thank you for being there for me, Kate."

"Always," I smiled.

**THE END**

Wow! I wrote this baby all in one day. I hope you guys liked it. I did my best to try and line everything up with _If_. Of course some things aren't exact, since time does pass differently in 'dreams' – I hope I gave Beckett's POV justice. Please comment and tell me what you all think! Was writing this companion fic worth it? Did it help give _If_ more of a sense of completion? If anything didn't make sense, just ask and I'll explain to the best of my ability. :) Tell me what you all think when you get a chance.

Thank you to those of you who simply just read this story. You mean a lot to me too. :D

Clois and Caskett Forever! :)


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